I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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