sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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