Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
