This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
