allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
