Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Please, let me fuck your mom
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
