the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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