I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
