So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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