fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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