guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
