Three words: puerto rican gang bang
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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