Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize