I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
