trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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