So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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