god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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