I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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