I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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