Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
