Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
