the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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