wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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