you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
