I'm jealous of your bromance
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
