I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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