I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
