the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize