So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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