# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize