it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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