I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
