i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize