Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Randomize
Follow @tfln