I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
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He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
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Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.