he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?