You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
