Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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