need another drink. this is the easiest way
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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