Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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