lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
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My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
soo... how was my night?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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