I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
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Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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