I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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