Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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