Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
