he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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