meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize