My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
