i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
