Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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