guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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