similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
