i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
