Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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