We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
