Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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