I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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