All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky š
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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