Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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